20 Years Under The Big Top

Message From Space | by Anonymous

I understand a certain ringmaster at a small Saskatchewan circus just notched 20 years in clown-town. Somehow, he hasn’t killed or even maimed anybody yet (other than himself). Libations are clearly in order, as well as sexual favours — assuming his wife doesn’t mind. Actually, his wife needs to be worshiped as well, because she’s a hero too (but that’s another MFS).

My friend: it’s no small feat to stick out a job like yours. In two decades you’ve dodged many bullets, as well as taken a few for your evil, cackling sidekicks. You are the Main Man, the Leader At Large, the Big Kahuna, a rock-rolling Sisyphus with the biggest of shoulders. You are the tireless chief executive fall-guy and one-man cleanup crew who inspires all who know you. You rock and we love you. Hail you, praise you! /Anonymous


“TM” STANDS FOR “TOTES MILESTONE” Message From Space is an open forum for Planet S readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends and family. You can also embarrass underappreciated local heroes with praise and love (but don’t spread that around — we don’t want everyone doing it). E-mail your submission to editor@planetsmag.com (type MESSAGE FROM SPACE in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words. Oh: and happy birthday, T-Mash!