Message From Space | by Anonymous
Crossing The Street at Night 101: wear really dark clothing — preferably dark shoes, black jeans and a black hoodie pulled up over your head so no errant light reflects off your skin. Remember, crosswalks and intersections are for sissies, so pick somewhere in the middle of the block where the streetlights are weak. When crossing, don’t look in either direction and make sure you saunter (really important) because you’re immortal and besides, drivers have night vision like cats. And if some old guy embarrasses himself by braking so quickly his tires chirp? Continue to saunter. Don’t look up or sideways or anything. Otherwise you spoil the cool effect.
WHACK IN BLACK Message From Space is an open forum for Planet S readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and exasperation with idiot nocturnal pedestrians. E-mail your submission to firstname.lastname@example.org (type MESSAGE FROM SPACE in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words and wearing reflective colours after dark. For safety!