DA: The Force Awakens (After A Copyright Attack)

Daily AggregationHappy afternoon, Saskatoon! How happy? 22°C happy. Why are you reading this? Find a patio that has beer. The sun doesn’t set until 7:51 tonight. Go! Scram! Shoo! This blog post will be here all weekend.

1. MORE JOBS, WAIT. MAYBE NOT Conflicting reports on Saskatchewan’s employment situation.

2. SPITEFUL SASK GOVERNMENT BABIES CAN’T HANDLE CRITICISM, LASH OUT The Opposition NDP 11 MLAs. The governing Sask Party has 51. The Opposition NDP just had its funding cut by $64,00, compared to $130,000 for the government. The Sask Party loses $2,550 for every MLA. The NDP? $5,800. That isn’t just unfair, it’s targeted suppression of a political opponent. Who do these bullies think they are, Putin?

3. SASKATONIANS PROTESTS LIBRARY CUTS As they should.

4. MASSIVE SASKATOON POLICE SCANDAL Two cops made fun of crime victim Bronek Hart’s name. Unacceptable! Wait. Bronek? That is kind of a funny-sounding name. Apparently it’s Czech (from “Brotislav”) and means “glorious armor”. Doesn’t sound like this Bronek has very thick armor. Well, he was having a bad day. Hopefully the cops will apologize for being idiots and for using an offensive slur, and we can all go back to reading about the end of the world, speaking of…

5. SYRIA: NO MUSHROOM CLOUDS YET SO THAT’S GOOD U.S. President Donald J. Trump gave Russian ally Syria a 59 penis pummeling last night. Here’s the Washington Post’s latest. Not that the regime doesn’t deserve a faceful of missiles, but Assad has been murdering children for a long time and it seems unlikely this will stop that. Besides, it’s not like this will inspire that grandstanding, egomaniacal hypocrite to accept Syrian refugees, which is what he’d do if he actually gave a shit about children.

6. SYRIA: MORE: “World leaders react to strike”, “U.S. Missile Strikes Bring Angry Russian Response”, “Was Trump’s Syria Strike Illegal?”“Trump’s Foreign Policy Is Dangerously Impulsive”,“The Grim Logic Behind Syria’s Chemical Weapons Attack”, “U.S. Tries To Restore Military Back Channel With Russia After Syria Strikes”.

7. SYRIA: TRUDEAU SUPPORTS MISSILES AND REFUGEES Yuuuuuugh. Well he’s in a tough spot. The country he leads is next door to a deranged and heavily armed giant. Still grotesque and nauseating.

8. SYRIA: JEET HEER: THE GENERALS HAVE WON THEIR WAR WITH TRUMP One of our favourite mighty intellectuals throws his brain at Trump’s Syrian adventure.

9. SYRIA: BRIAN WILLIAM’S BEAUTIFUL MISSILES I assume the news anchor was trying to make a darkly poetic analogy contrasting the lights and colours of rockets with the destruction they cause but it didn’t work and bringing Leonard Cohen into it is just shitty. Also I apologize for writing “59 penis pummeling” at the start of this thing. That was horrible.

10. AN OILERS OWNER SEX SCANDAL? Stepping away from conflicts between nuclear powers: so Daryl Katz is being sued. First: don’t threaten the careers of women you’ve propositioned after they’ve turned you down. Second: fuck, just don’t be an entitled rich creep. Third: there are professional sex workers out there happy to take money for companionship. Even from gross, slimy men.

BAD LIP READING: THE FORCE AWAKENS After a ridiculous, and brief, copyright takedown, the latest Bad Lip Reading video is back online. While not as amazing as “Seagulls (Stop It Now)”, it’s still a lot of fun.

31 Days Of Space: The Spooky Frontier – First Man Into Space

space the spooky frontierAstronaut test pilot Lt. Dan Prescott (Bill Edwards) is scheduled to test the new Y-13 rocket much to his brother’s, Cmdr. Charles “Chuck” Prescott (Marshall Thompson), chagrin. Dan doesn’t follow Chuck’s orders and flies to high, blacking out and then crashes into the desert. Instead of going back to base Dan goes find his girlfriend Tia (Marla Landi). Chuch finds Dan, yells at him and sends him back to base.

Chuck doesn’t want Dan to fly the next test but everyone else still think Dan is the best pilot for the job. On the next test flight Dan again goes higher than ever before, climbing to 1,320,000 feet before trying to return the rocket to Earth.
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31 Days Of Space: The Spooky Frontier – Attack The Block

space the spooky frontierWhile walking home from work nurse Samantha Adams (Jodie Whittaker) is robbed by a group of kids lead by Moses (John Boyega). The robbery is interrupted by what first appears to be a meteorite crashing into a parked car.

When Moses investigates he’s attacked by weird creature that he kills. Moses and the gang take the creature back to their apartment block which also happens to be the same apartment complex that Samantha lives in.
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31 Days Of Space: The Spooky Frontier – Under The Skin

space the spooky frontierA man on a motorcycle (Jeremy McWilliams) stops on the side of the road and walks into the ditch. He comes back up with a woman’s body which he drops in the back of a white van. In white space, a naked woman (Scarlett Johansson) undresses the dead woman and puts on her clothes. When she’s finished she notices an ant which she picks up and looks at.

The woman goes and gets more clothes and starts driving around in the van. She picks up random men and takes them back to her place where they end up walking into a black liquid void instead of getting lucky. The woman goes out to get more men.
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31 Days Of Space: The Spooky Frontier – The Man From Planet X

space the spooky frontierGood Professor Elliot (Raymond Bond) has set up shop on an island near the Scottish Moors. A newly discovered planet dubbed “Planet X” (no word on if it contains the extremely rare Alludium Phosdex, the shaving cream atom) is traveling close to Earth. The Professor has invited his friend reporter John Lawrence (Robert Clarke) to see the planet as it passes by. Professor Elliot has the unscrupulousDr. Mears (William Schallert) as an assistant.

Elliot’s daughter Enid (Margaret Field) is also on the island. Lawrence and Enid hit it off and go for a walk where they discover a strange cylinder probe. Professor Elliot is fascinated by it but Dr. Mears wants to profit off of the new alien metal. One night Enid stumbles across a spaceship that has landed in a field. A strange looking alien is inside and when Enid brings her father back to the ship a ray turns Professor Elliot into a mindless easy to control zombie.
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31 Days Of Space: The Spooky Frontier – The Color Out Of Space

space the spooky frontierThere have a few attempts to bring H.P, Lovecraft’s The Colour Out of Space to film. The first was the 1965 Die, Monster, Die! with Boris Karloff. It strayed far from the original story and was a pretty mediocre effort overall. It’s watchable but not great.

The next attempt would happen in 1987 with The Curse. It’s a little closer but still kind of messes up the story at the end. In 2010 Huan Vu crafted a German made adaptation that is not only a great little horror movie but a pretty faithful adaptation too.
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31 Days Of Space: The Spooky Frontier – The Deadly Spawn

space the spooky frontierThis is going to sound familiar. An asteroid crashes into Earth near a small town. Two campers go looking at the meteor only to get devoured by something.

Just a short distance away is the lovely home of Sam (James Brewster) and Barb (Elissa Neil) and their kids Pete (Tom DeFranco) and Charles (Charles George Hildebrandt). Visiting the house happen to be Uncle Herb (John Schmerling), Aunt Millie (Ethel Michelson) and some deadly alien spawn that have moved into the basement.
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31 Days Of Space: The Spooky Frontier – Kronos

space the spooky frontierA glowing light takes over a man who is driving a car out in the desert. The possessed man drives to a scientific outpost called Lab Central. The man busts into the place and finds Dr. Hubbell Eliot (John Emery). The light leaves the man, who drops dead, and enters Dr. Eliot.

Meanwhile Dr. Eliot’s colleagues Dr. Leslie Gaskell (Jeff Morrow) and Dr. Arnold Culver (George O’Hanlon) have been tracking what they believe to be an asteroid which suddenly changes course. Dr. Eliot confuses the men by telling them they are wrong. Dr. Gaskell orders the military to blast the object out of the sky. The object is hit and crashes into the ocean off of Mexico. Dr. Eliot suddenly collapses and is sent to the hospital while Dr. Gaskell, Dr. Gaskell’s girlfriend and assistant Vera Hunter (Barbara Lawrence) and Dr. Culver race to take a look at the object.
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31 Days Of Horror: Space The Spooky Frontier – The Hidden

space the spooky frontierJack DeVries (Chris Mulkey), an average ordinary citizen with no prior history of violence or criminal activity, has suddenly gone on a massive crime spree, shooting, killing and robbing a bank. A high speed chase ensues which ends with DeVries wounded and taken to the hospital.

Strange FBI agent Lloyd Gallagher (Kyle MacLachlan) arrives at the police station demanding to see DeVries and Detective Thomas Beck (Michael Nouri) infroms Gallagher that DeVries might not survive the night. Gallagher panics and demands that they go to the hospital immediately. Meanwhile a dying DeVries coughs out a giant space slug that leaves his body and moves into the patient beside DeVries, Jonathan Miller (William Boyett). Miller then proceeds to go on a murderous rampage.
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31 Days Of Space: The Spooky Frontier – The Monolith Monsters

space the spooky frontierLike with so many sci-fi horror films, this 1957 Universal horror starts with a meteor crashing into the Earth. But this time out is a little different. There’s no aliens seeking blood, raising the dead or trying to take over the world. There’s just the meteor and some rocks.

The meteor crashes just on the outskirts of San Angelo, California and the meteor breaks into hundreds of black rock fragments. Federal geologist Ben Gilbert (Phil Harvey) happens to collect one of the rocks and takes back to his office to examine. The head of Ben’s department, Dave Miller (Grant Williams), returns from a trip and finds Ben dead – turned to stone and the office destroyed by black rocks.
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