Message From Space | by Anonymous

To the person drinking a beer at a pub and reading this in Planet S right now: is there a $20 bill under your table? How do you know there isn’t? It’s not like you checked before you sat down. I could’ve easily taped a twenty under some random Saskatoon pub table and then sent this note to Message From Space to stir shit up. I think we both know I’m capable of that. Even if I’m full of crap, what if someone else read this, and they taped $20 under your table? Or what about the table next to you? Is it there? You won’t know until you reach under and feel around. It’s $20, right? It’s worth the risk. Besides, what’s the worst thing you could touch by accident? Gum? Boogers? Spiders? Most people would probably say spiders, but they’re wrong. The worst thing you could blindly touch under a pub table is Brad Trost’s groin. Or maybe tetanus. Still. $20!

LOOK BEFORE YOU LOOT Message From Space is an open forum for Planet S readers to anonymously share petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends and family. You can also use it to cause trouble, I guess. Depends. E-mail submissions to (type MESSAGE FROM SPACE in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words and include $20. Duh, obviously.