Message from Space | by Anonymous
To the three yuppies (two guys and a girl) walking through a downtown coffee shop in early May: “hold your breath” and “oh god, what a smell” are not nice things to say when passing a human being who happens to be not doing as well as you financially, but who, I am absolutely certain, has more heart than the three of you put together. I guess you douches are representatives of The New Saskatchewan. I would really like the old one back.
DIE, YUPPIE SCUM Message From Space is an open forum for Planet S readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends, family and your fellow Saskatonians. You can also blast yuppie scum with a shame-bazooka but those Bret Easton Ellis sociopaths would probably just laugh. E-mail your submission to email@example.com (type MESSAGE FROM SPACE in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions need to be 100–200 words, but they’ll be either waaay too long or waaay too short because you didn’t read this far. Arrgh.