Message From Space | by Anonynous
As much as we all like it, Facebook, unfortunately, is the perfect tool to accidentally pick fights with people we agree with. The way it combines the imprecision of in-person conversation with the written word’s authority leads to constant misunderstandings, arguments and hurt feelings. That’s why you, Mr. Jerkwad, are such a daisy-scented breath of fresh air for the social media age: your absolutely vicious insults and proud racism are unambiguously loathsome, online OR in person. What we see is what we get with you — most of us have good and bad qualities but you, sir, are 100 per cent concentrated douchebag. Better yet, one glance at your selfies shows your sexism and homophobia are matched by a flamboyant “40-year-old-dude-wearing-gold-chains-and-a-track-suit-with-a-tilted-ball-cap” fashion sense. You really know how to pull a look together!
Like the cartoon rooster says, something just ain’t right with you, son. Here’s an idea: maybe don’t broadcast your defects on Facebook?
Message From Space is an open forum for Planet S readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends and family. You can also bring stupid social media feuds to the printed page where you always get the last word (ha!). E-mail submissions to email@example.com (type MESSAGE FROM SPACE in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100–200 words and should remove any tacky jewelry before printing.