Life-Challenged Bicycle Morons

Message From Space | by Anonymous

Was there a noncompoop party last Wednesday night and no one told me? Don’t know what was going on but every second street we drove down had some bike-riding idiot wearing dark clothes and no helmet blowing through stoplights and stop signs and riding on the wrong side of the road into traffic. Could you life-challenged bicycle morons please not be so fucking dumb? Some poor jerk’s going to run over you in their SUV and feel terrible (not that they should). Then again, maybe their wheels will just roll over your putty-filled skull, causing no damage whatsoever. Well, no further damage. Idiots.


BRAIN-DEAD PEDAL NINJAS Message From Space is an open forum for Planet S readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about stupid people who should be culled. You can also embarrass local heroes with praise and love, I guess. E-mail your submission to editor@planetsmag.com (type MESSAGE FROM SPACE in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100–200 words and obey all rules of the road. Failure to follow the rules shall result in immediate culling!