1. CHARLIE ANGUS THROWS HIS HAT IN THE RING Well, there’s the next federal NDP leader.
3. DEADLY NERVE GAS! A genuine WMD was used to kill North Korean Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il’s half brother.
4. MAN CHARGED FOR WEED DEALING A good reminder not to speed. Also this is dumb. Legalize it, tax it and use the money to fix Brad Wall’s dumb budget problems. In other pot news, the White House is opposed to recreational marijuana and is planning to be an ass about it. Which I assume means siccing the pro-KGB FBI on people of colour who use pot.
5. ISRAEL DENIES VISAS TO HUMAN RIGHTS WORKERS Ugh. At least they didn’t shoot them.
6. JAY AND DAN! JAY AND DAN! Will the sports broadcast legends return to TSN? Officer Bobrovsky awaits an announcement.
MIAZAKI CAN’T STAY RETIRED The world’s greatest animator is going to make another movie. It’s supposed to be out before the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. You’ve seen Spirited Away, right?