REVIEW: ‘Godzilla vs. Kong’: Titans Rule, Humans Not so Much

There’s no two ways about it: The Monarch saga has been underwhelming so far. Both Godzilla and Godzilla: King of the Monsters had the same problem: A despondent creature and profoundly uninteresting characters. Kong: Skull Island was a notch more interesting: it’s amazing what a little character development can do for a blockbuster.

Godzilla vs. Kong is not fantastic, but gets one key element right: Kong is intrinsically sympathetic and a movie can coast on the big ape’s charisma (see Peter Jackson’s King Kong). Like Sam Raimi in Spider-Man 2, director Adam Wingard (You’re NextThe Guest) goes back to the his days as mumblecore filmmaker and infuses Godzilla vs. Kong with some of that B-movie spirit.

In Godzilla vs. Kong, the action is driven by Apex Cybernetics (get it?), a corporation intent on keeping the titans under control following a presumably unprovoked attack by the kaiju. Considering Godzilla has kept his distance after defeating King Ghidora in the previous movie, the lack of motivation seems curious, to say the least.

But Apex’ agenda goes beyond antagonizing the giant lizard. They want to get their hands on a power source located in the Hollow Earth, the center of the planet where all these monsters presumably come from. To get there, they need a guide. Someone more personable and less prone to senseless destruction than Godzilla. Someone like Kong.

Because the titans are telepathically connected and have a long standing grudge, it’s a matter of time before Godzilla and Kong start exchanging blows. Every bout is thrilling: Godzilla has size and an atomic heat beam coming out of his mouth, but Kong is cunning and more emotionally invested.

The problem is everything in between. Apex’ machinations resist no analysis. Whenever not spewing “scientific” jargon, the dialogue is boilerplate at best. The cast is all wrong (Alexander Skarsgård as a nerd, Demián Bichir as a rich villain). Rebecca Hall can barely disguise her lack of interest. Heck, even the irrepressible Julian Dennison (Ricky Baker from Hunt for the Wilderpeople) is turned into a boring sidekick. And the least said of the over-the-top intensity of Kyle Chandler, the better (at least he’s only in three scenes, as opposed to the whole of Godzilla: King of the Monsters).

Thankfully, there’s plenty of titan action and Kong has more personality than the entire cast combined (not a high bar). It’s particularly amusing to recognize the horror staples Adam Wingard gets away with because the monsters don’t bleed red. Maybe next time Wingard should bring along his pal Simon Barrett to write the script. Two and a half planets.

Godzilla vs. Kong is now playing in theatres and premium VOD.